Thursday, April 12, 2007



We recently ran across a list of the "Top Ten Comedy One-Liners In Movie History." Perhaps not too surprising is the fact that two of the selected one-liners came from Peter Sellers:

"Gentlemen, you can't fight here -- this is the War Room!" President Merkin Muffley in DR. STRANGELOVE (1963)

"Do you have a license for your minkey?" Inspector Clouseau in THE RETURN OF THE PINK PANTHER (1975)

This got us to thinking...

and so the Staff of Needtovent is proud to announce a contest Henny Youngman would love. (His wife, too.)

We hereby invite all of our loyal readers to send in their favorite one-liner by clicking on the "Comments" link below. We will accept entries until midnight, Central Daylight Time, Saturday, May 5th -- that's Cinco de Mayo (aka Cinco de Mayonnaise for the Hellmann Family in Englewood Cliffs, NJ).

The winning entry will receive a panoply of prizes, including a specially selected gift from the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago worth approximately $364 (assembly required) and a damn near priceless bumper sticker from (the "Dangerously Informative" website located in Crested Butte, CO). Additional prizes, many of truly indeterminate value, will be announced in the days ahead.

This contest is open to anyone not associated with the mortgage banking industry since "it takes more training to become a hair dresser than it does to become a mortgage broker." (Quote from a unidentified guest on the Paula Zahn show).

I say this because I am personally looking for the most intelligent, humorous and/or insightful entries possible. Also be advised that the subject matter of the one-liner does not have to be associated with movies or television; any and all subjects and/or references except "nappy-headed hos" qualify. Hey, Imus draw the line least that's what my minkey said.

Let the fun begin!