PULPIT MASTERS and
SMALL MEDIUMS AT LARGE

by Robert A. Nowotny

No, there's not a single typo among either title. No, I'm not making any of this up. Yes, you are among the very first to know.

Where to begin…

Let's simply start by saying PULPIT MASTERS and SMALL MEDIUMS AT LARGE are two recently greenlighted reality shows announced by David Abraham, the newly anointed Executive Vice President and General Manager of The Learning Channel. Just two months into the job, Abraham has declared that 2005 will be a “year of transition” for the cable network. The man is a master of understatement. The man may be demented. The man may be out of work before year-end.

“Exhibit A” is PULPIT MASTERS—you gotta love that title and I say this with all due respect to my good friend David Schmoeller. Little is known about this original program except that a minimum of twelve episodes will air later this year in prime time on the channel that calls itself “Life Unscripted.” What is known is that this will be a talent contest in which contestants compete to become “the next great American preacher.” Charismatic Christians will apparently compete for this coveted title while barking religious dogma in front of a national television audience. Think THE GONG SHOW for gonzo gospel givers. I will, of course, tune in, and I will, here and now, make a prediction—on “Judgement Day” neither a Lutheran nor a Mennonite will win.

You may ask what could possibly top this? Well, Mr. Abraham is not about to put all of his communion wafers in one basket. No siree…

SMALL MEDIUMS AT LARGE has received a ten-episode order in which five little people, including at least one clairvoyant, will provide makeover guidance. And you thought QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY was a wacky premise. Both projects are being produced by Thom Beers, whose DEADLIEST CATCH is one of my favorite programs to appear on The Discovery Channel. (I refer you to my review posted several months ago). In any event, according to Mr. Beers (another name I love) the five little people comprising the cast have “all overcome physical hardships to thrive in this world. They're compelling individuals and the perfect example of a little bit of tough love.” Who knows, maybe this series can dwarf the competition.

Personally, I hope both of these shows succeed (in the capable hands of Mr. Beers they just might surprise us all), because that means we can surely expect the unexpected at TLC in 2006.