GET YOUR KICKS (again) ON ROUTE 66…

The staff at Needtovent.com is surprised that CARS has received mixed reviews from many of the nation's top cinematic critics. Seems to us that most of these Typo Marxists don't have a clue as to who put the “pun” in pundit. Here are just two examples:

“The makers of DOC HOLLYWOOD called. They want their movie back.” Christy Lemire, Associated Press

“Is there a script mechanic in the pits? I've heard of funny cars, but CARS just isn't funny.” Thomas Delapa, Boulder Weekly

O.K.—I did stretch it a bit to quote Boulder Weekly. This Colorado rag certainly doesn't possess any more right to exist than the ubiquitous bikey boys in Spandex who populate that part of the Rocky Mountain West. But I digress…

Approximately 60% of all reviewers have praised CARS and the creative team behind this spectacular animated offering. Terry Larson of the Detroit Free Press wrote, “It's characters may be made of steel, but this movie is made of sturdier stuff: heart and art.” And John Venable of Supercala.com agrees: “Pixar is the Ferrari of animation studios…another winner!”

So which is it? To paraphrase two famous films—

Is CARS what Strother Martin declared in COOL HAND LUKE: “What we have here is…failure to carburate.”

Or does Bette Davis best describe CARS with her memorable line in ALL ABOUT EVE: “Fasten your seat belts, its going to be a Humpy Wheeler night!” (This is for the NASCAR fans out there in cyberspace. Yes, one can log on to the internet at most trailer parks these days…)

The answer is undeniable; we side with Ms. Davis. CARS is as good as a panoply of Panhards.

Boogity! Boogity! Boggity!