BUBBA NOSFERATU

by Robert A. Nowotny

“I'm so excited and I just can't hide it”

With all due apologies to The Pointer Sisters, I'm sitting here joyously palpitating more vigorously than that fateful, balmy evening when I first frequented the Chicken Ranch in La Grange, Texas. (That's “THE BEST LITTLE WHOREHOUSE IN TEXAS” for you uninitiated big city folks).

Why all the excitement? Well, it has just been recently announced that Director Don Coscarelli will again partner with the incomparable Joe R. Lansdale to bring us BUBBA NOSFERATU, a prequel to the absolutely phenomenal BUBBA HO-TEP which was my unabashed selection as the best feature motion picture released on DVD in 2004. (To learn why, please refer to my review captioned “The Best Movie Of The Year”).

Coscarelli (the Libya-born director of PHANTASM I-IV) and Lansdale (the Mojo author from the East Texas piney woods) make a great team. This incomparable pair has proven that they can spin the heads of audiences with more élan and vigor than Carol Doda's tassels. Quite honestly, things just don't get much more entertaining.

Details remain scarce. For example, it is not certain if Bruce Campbell will once again play Elvis Presley. I cannot fathom anyone else in the role—his performance in HO-TEP was nothing short of phenomenal and it made HO-TEP the very best Elvis movie ever by a wide, wide margin. What we do know is that the premise for this new project has The King shooting a film in Louisiana where he runs afoul of a coven of she-vampires. Now that's a story I want to see—unlike the preponderance of mainstream crap that is dumped on our local bijous by the timid Hollywood studios. For me, most of these overblown special effects extravaganzas are as constipating as last night's fondue dinner.

I realize, of course, that I am probably breaking new ground in reviewing a movie that hasn't even gone before the cameras yet. In fact, it is possible that the screenplay has not yet been completed. However, I boldly predict in this “Preview Review” that BUBBA NOSFERATU will be the “can't miss” movie of 2006. Mark my words.