THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES

"Wandering aound our America has changed me more than I thought. I am not me any more. At least I'm not the same me I was." -- Ernesto Guevara de la Serna

Welcome to EASY RIDER SOUTH.

The year is 1952. Two young men embark on a journey of discovery; it is a journey of over 10,000 miles -- from Argentina to Chile to Peru and beyond. Adapted from books written by both participants, Ernesto 'Che' Guevara and Alberto Granado, THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES is a beautifully photographed film with excellent production values throughout. Winner of the Oscar for Best Original Song and nominated for Best Screenplay Based On Material Previously Published or Produced, DIARIES went on to garner 24 other international awards and received an additional 34 major international award nominations. Clearly this is a film worthy of your time and mine.

In the final analysis, however, the film fails to fully explain the future revolutionary success of Che Guevara and for that I feel a bit disappointed. Historically, there is no disputing this man's passion or his brilliance, but the waters of Lake Titicaca are far clearer than the character arc developed by Director Walter Salles. This is a shame -- THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES could have been even better...

THE RACONTEUR RAMBLER -- Be Prepared To NASH Your Teeth

Today I pay a backhand tribute to the Nash Rambler, surely one of the least revered cars of the 1950's and 1960's. I do this because this "raconteur rambler" has decided to post a variety of thoughts that are most likely as ill-conceived as anything ever designed by American Motors.

-- What on earth were Wal-Mart, Target and a variety of other major retailers thinking when they decided to avoid the words "Merry Christmas" during this Holiday Season? Are they crazy? This is unbelievable, it is asinine and I predict it will be negatively felt at the cash register this December. What a downright stupid decision -- and this from someone who doesn't believe Jesus Christ is his savior any more than Neville Chamberlain...

-- Every day I tune in for at least a few minutes to both CNN and Fox News. I do so in the pathetic hope that we have finally captured Osama Bin Laden. I should know better; we were never even able to catch Pancho Villa...

-- A question recently asked by a comedian: What does a beaver have between her legs? I don't profess to know the answer, but I bet it is the same thing Hillary and Condoleeza have and I bet it isn't pink on the inside...

-- Another question: What happened to Aaron Brown? He was one of the very few broadcast journalists that I actually liked...

-- As for global warming, I don't profess to know the truth. I do believe that the earth goes through periodic climatic changes and I also believe that our collective emmissions may be having an effect. I'm glad I don't have any children so this issue between Big Bucks and Little Buckaroos is of diminished consequences to me. As a result, I can concentrate on other important mysteries of the universe like the Curse of the Goat at Wrigley...

-- I see where Michael Jackson is now in Bahrain. I must assume that the Boston Arch Diocese didn't have an opening...

BOSTON LEGAL -- A Guilty Pleasure...

Last night's episode of BOSTON LEGAL was perhaps the most thought-provoking and the most entertaining in the remarkable two-year history of what I believe is the single best hour on American television.

The primary storyline in "Witches of Mass Destruction" targeted the War in Iraq with a poignant plea for the citizens of this nation to abandon the entrenched polar positions of both political parties and encouraged, instead, a healthy dialogue aimed at both reason and understanding. Of course, leave it to pompous Denny Crane (portrayed by the irrepressible William Shatner) to say it best: "We Republicans never waiver -- no matter how wrong we are!" At the same time, erudite and arrogant Alan Shore (played by the brilliant James Spader) openly admits to being a flip-flopper in the past but whose mindset is now just as entrenched, albeit on the opposite side of this divisive issue.

What's truly amazing is that these two over-the-top, outrageous fictional characters are able to so eloquently express themselves and their points of view with passion, with clarity and within a matter of mere minutes. If only windbags like Rush-a-Dope Limbaugh and I'm-Not-Yet-Dead-Ted Kennedy could do the same.

Credit Creator/Writer David E. Kelly; when he is on his game no one is better. In BOSTON LEGAL Mr. Kelly has consistently delivered a prime time show that puts all others to shame. Clearly no TV drama is better cast, especially now with the addition of Candice Bergen as one of the firm's partners, Shirley Schmidt. The production values are top notch all the way around and the editing is as crisp as the bacon at the Stage Door Deli. Simply put: BOSTON LEGAL is "must-see TV."

Alas, I wish I could say the same for COMMANDER IN CHIEF, the Geena Davis as President program that serves as the lead-in for BOSTON LEGAL. Some have said this show is designed to help pave the way for a woman presidential candidate in 2008. Well, Hillary and Condoleeza and whoever else better hope the writing improves and the show begins to reach its potential, because right now my only sustaining realization, especially since the most recent episode, is that Big Lips Sink Ships...

HOUSE OF WAX -- Holy Carnauba!

Ten minutes into HOUSE OF WAX Paris Hilton's character reveals that she is late for her period. By the time we have any action whatsoever she could have easily given birth. Talk about a s-l-o-w start to a movie -- watching the first half of this film is like being subjected to Chinese Water Torture. Drip...drip...drip...

This HOUSE OF WAX is the seventy-eighth remake of 2005. Like 99% of the others, it doesn't hold a candle to any of the earlier versions. In fact, the 1953 edition starring Vincent Price, Frank Lovejoy and Phyllis Kirk was a true classic. Not only was it the very first 3D motion picture produced by a major studio, many believe that it represents Mr. Price's best screen performance.

The best that the Warner Bros. marketing department could come up for this effort was: "On May 6th...See Paris Die!" That's tepid endorsement, indeed. But here's the real killer (and I don't mean the twin waxaholics played by Brian Van Holt) --- there's NO TITTIES! What in hell was First-Time Director Jaume Collet-Serra thinking? Doesn't he know one of the most important must haves within the guts and gore genre is to show a boob or two? For shame...

Elisha Cuthbert's performance as Carly Jones is the best thing in the movie and the ending scenes almost wax poetic. That's too little and too late. Like an alter boy within the Boston diocese, this is one candlelight service you best stay away from.